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Something To Offend Everybody - 2006/03/07 20:00 What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.


Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnan t?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying "Yo."

Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong".

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." -A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain'tgonnabelievethisshit....


Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
Golf Advice | Priceless Pics and Jokes
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Something To Offend Everybody
browneye253 2006/03/07 20:00
 

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  • Edmond planners OK office park
    EDMOND ? The Edmond Planning Commission unanimously approved a neighborhood office development after Oak Tree Park property owners and the developer came to an agreement.

    The planned unit development district will be home to 13 office buildings on an 8.8-acre tract west of Kelly Avenue and north of Coffee Creek Road.

    The commissioners denied the rezoning request from single family to D-O suburban office in April after Oak Tree Park homeowners argued against the office park.

    Attorney Randel Shadid, representing Oak Tree Park Development, said all details had been worked out with homeowners during a Community Connection meeting following the April Planning Commissioners decision.
    see more on NewsOK.com

  • Auditors fault Treasury oversight of bailout funds

    WASHINGTON (AP) _ The government must toughen its monitoring of the $700 billion financial bailout to ensure that banking institutions limit their top executives' pay and comply with other restrictions, federal auditors said Tuesday in the first comprehensive review of the rescue package.

    The Treasury Department has no mechanism in place to track how institutions are using $150 billion in taxpayer money that the government injected into the banking system as of last month, the Government Accountability Office concluded in its report to Congress.

    The auditors acknowledged that the program, created Oct. 3 to help stabilize a rapidly faltering banking system, was less than 60 days old and has been adjusting to an evolving missio
    see more on NewsOK.com

  • Oklahoma County man pinned under car dies
    An Oklahoma County man was taken to the hospital in critical condition tonight after three law enforcement officers lifted the car that had fallen on him and dragged him from beneath it.

    Oklahoma County Sheriff's spokesman Mark Myers said the 63-year-old man was working on a car in his driveway about 5 p.m. at his residence on First Gravel Road, south of Memorial Road in eastern Oklahoma County.

    Myers, who went to the scene, said he did not know why the car fell.

    The first people on the scene were two Oklahoma County sheriff's deputies and a Luther police officer. The deputies lifted the car off the ground and the Luther police officer pulled the victim out, Myers said.

    Myers said the man had no pulse, and the law
    see more on NewsOK.com

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